Wednesday, February 22, 2017

THE FONDUE PARTY WAS GOING SWELL

The fondue party was going swell. Everybody was naked and feeling sick from eating so much cheese. It had spilled many times and been dripped all over the carpet and drapes. The chocolate and cheese fondue had splashed into each other and everything was discoloured and gross. The Masons from next door started bickering, and then Henrietta and George Jones got involved in the argument. Soon the whole lounge was turned upside as the fondue party became an all in brawl, sweaty naked bodies with red faces tumbled all over, scratching and biting and pulling hair. People screamed in agony as the boiling fondue scorched their delicate flesh. It was wonderful.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

A FREAKY LOOKING DOLPHIN PURSUES A SQUID THROUGH THE WATER

A freaky looking dolphin pursues a squid through the water. The squid seems to be having no trouble keeping pace, and shoots ink into the dolphins eye every few seconds, but the dolphin doesn't flinch. The freaky looking dolphin is pulsing with anger and hunger and hate, and it will continue to pursue this squid until one of them runs out of energy and dies. A latin-american steam ship high above is blasting the music of Perez Prado, and as the mambo rhythms pulse through the water, the rippling vibrations give the freaky looking dolphin the extra push he needs to keep on swimming.

Monday, February 20, 2017

A GROOVY YOUNG COUPLE FROM SINGAPORE GET IN THEIR DATSUN

A groovy young couple from Singapore get in their Datsun and hit the road. The sun is going down and the evening is beginning to sparkle. She pushes the cigarette lighter in, leans back in her chair and breathes in the early night air. As they coast along the highway, she lights a cigarette and leans back. He looks at her out of the corner of his eye while driving. She deserves so much more attention than the corner of an eye. He hopes that soon his work in developing car driving robots will come to fruition, and he will then be able to feel the wind of the open road in his hair as he passionately kisses his wife, knowing all the while that the Robodrive3000 is shepherding them safely to their beachfront destination.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

LURID NEON LIGHTS BLINDED ME

Lurid neon lights blinded me. I stumbled through Chinatown, thinking about that lobsters and what would become of them. I'd been drinking heavily ever since the incident, it rattled me and I needed to maintain equilibrium by getting wobbly. Could they really survive out here? Perhaps the ones that got into the storm drains could make a new life for themselves, have some kind of underground Huckleberry Finn lobster adventures. Perhaps they would let me come along on their raft, and over time we could break down the age old mistrust between man and lobster. We could forge a heartwarming friendship and then have it adapted into a Hollywood film and then get screwed out of any money and retire back to our home towns in disgust.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

CHINATOWN AND THE AUGUST MOON WAS PINK

Chinatown and the august moon was pink and yellow and a little white, the colours were shifting as the clouds went by. I could hear firecrackers going off and in the window of a restaurant there was a ruckus going on. The lobster waiter was trying to grab a lobster out of the tank but they were all ducking and weaving and giving him a lot of trouble. He reached right in and two lobsters clamped his shirtsleeve and pulled. He tumbled straight into the tank and crashed right through the window. Lobster water and lobster rocks and lobsters spilled right out into the street. The lobsters went scuttling off into laneways and down into sewerage drains and up drain pipes, and in a few seconds it was just me and the wet lobster waiter alone on the street in the yellow and pink and white moonlight.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

CANTANKEROUS OLD FIREFLIES BUZZED AROUND THE SUGAR CANE

Cantankerous old fireflies buzzed around the sugar cane, sipping their drinks and reminiscing about the days of the Ming Dynasty when a fly could get a priceless vase for next to nothing. Oh, they had vases in those days, and the flowers you'd put in them! Why the purple you think of now as a deep, deep purple, that would have been considered a lavender back then! Oh, the the kind of purple you could get lost in, swimming around, and almost suffocating from the richness, but you could take it, you could take it because you were a man (a man firefly), and you had the strength to be suffused in the deepest of purples and feel it all and stand up and fly.

Monday, February 6, 2017

A GIANT HAD CAPTURED ME AND PUT ME IN A SANDWICHE

A giant had captured me and put me in a sandwiche. I was nestled between some lettuce and a goopy sluicy bed of mayonnaise. The mayonnaise was disgusting to be laying in, but the texture of it pressed against was naked body was quite pleasant if I could imagine it was some kind of beauty cream. I wasn't sure what else was in the sandwich, anything beyond my canopy of lettuce was out of sight. "Hey Giant!" I shouted, "How about a little alfalfa in here to rest my head on?"

Saturday, February 4, 2017

THE SWEET CARESS OF THE COOL BREEZE

The sweet caress of the cool breeze against my cheek made me die instantly. It was simply too pleasurable for my body to compute. My spirit floated up out of my body. It felt the cool breeze and was struck double dead. My spirit's spirit floated up out of that and by this time i was getting a little sick of this but I knew comedy came in threes so I prepared for the next cool breeze. A double spirit Mack truck came hurtling along the spirit highway and mashed my double spirit painfully triple dead. Goodness, death can be cruel. Triple death triply so.